How To Deal With Confrontation
You know the feeling: confrontation is looming up on the horizon and your stomach starts twisting itself into ever tighter knots until you’ve no idea how to deal with confrontation. But the conflict isn’t going to stop just because you don’t want a head on collision with it. It’s coming to get you whether you’re ready or not.
So, is there a way that you can use to deal with confrontation and come out the end of the argument with some semblance of humanity still intact?
Maybe…
Ideas to help you deal with confrontation
You need to start by realizing that the normal rules of engagement won’t apply.
Voices will get raised, tempers may flare.
Start by accepting that these nasty things can – and probably will – happen.
Some people actually enjoy these conflicts and will go out of their way to provoke people. Others just seem to have a knack for rubbing people up the wrong way and setting off an argument.
Whatever the cause, you need to escape the clutches of the pending conflict and come out the other side without being turned into a quivering, shaking, wreck.
A tall order I know.
Sometimes, even though it seems to go against your nature, it pays to meet shouting with shouting. This trick of matching the volume of the person who’s confronting with you can allow you to take control of the situation. You can then lead the volume and aggressiveness downwards. A calm voice often just winds up the other party.
Other times, it may pay you to admit that you were wrong. Even if you weren’t. It can be that the person confronting you is only out to “win”. Providing your apology doesn’t appear false or condescending, and providing you don’t capitulate immediately (which could be seen as a sign of weakness by the other party), then this may well work. The fact that you probably weren’t at fault doesn’t matter to the other person – they’ve won the argument as far as they’re concerned.
Of course, if you do this too often then you could be seen as a pushover which in turn could lead to the other person walking over you more often. You’re the only person who can judge whether or not that’s likely to happen.
Another possibility is to defuse the situation before it comes to a head. If you can spot patterns which lead to confrontation then this can be a good path to follow. Chances are that you know the other person’s weaknesses (yes, they will have some!) and can use those to change how the situation develops. Following this path can often lead to smaller and less frequent eruptions.
If all this is too much, another option is using hypnosis to deal with confrontation. A specially written will help you to re-train your mind so that you are better able to cope with these high tension situations.