You’re bound to have met a control freak somewhere in your life. You know what they’re like – an adult version of a child with tantrums, going ape if they don’t get their own way at least 100% of them time.
But deep down you probably actually like the person who’s trying to control you. Maybe you’re a friend or even in a close relationship with them.
So, how can you deal with a control freak and come out alive?
Blaming yourself is a habit that creeps up on us. It’s mixed in with self esteem but self blame is a whole new can of worms. Sure, if you mess something up, admit it. But if you make a habit of blaming yourself for anything and everything then you need to take back control, otherwise you’ll be stuck in a downward spiral.
There’s a knack to feeling happy but it’s one that we seem to lose as we get older and supposedly wiser. That said, it is possible to feel happy more often but you have to know how to approach life so that you can achieve this outcome.
There’s a lot more to feeling happy than just trying to think positive thoughts so let’s take a look at some other things you can do to feel happier…
OK, you know that the government guidelines and the food pyramid tell you to eat more vegetables so that you can live a longer, healthier life. But there’s a world of difference between the thought of eating more vegetables and actually doing that in real life.
Sure, the manufacturers try to help by telling you how many of your five-a-day are in the products they sell. But it’s still not as easy as it should be.
There’s so many things to do and so many distractions in life that sometimes you need a nudge to get you back on track and heading towards your goals again.
Sometimes it’s as easy as telling yourself to focus but more often you’ll need some more help to put you heading back in the right direction.
Sometimes the easiest option is to say yes, even when deep down you’d rather say no to the person you’re communicating with. It could be that their personality is overpowering or that you’re being guilted into answering yes or a plethora of other reasons.
But that doesn’t make it any easier – you’re being coerced into answering yes (either by yourself or the other person) and you then go into a state of internal conflict.
You might not judge it precisely that way but the jitters in your stomach or the sleepless nights are telling you something.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a bunch of stuff that you started but you’ve never finished. This could be anything from a stack of books on your shelves with bookmarks or the corner of the page turned, just waiting for you to go back to them (and going yellow while they’re waiting). Or it could be bigger projects in your life or even at work.
Whether it’s at home or at work, there are times when you need to become a leader. Most of the time this happens at work – maybe you get put in charge of a team or maybe the person leading your project is lacking leadership skills.
Whatever the reason, you need to switch into leadership mode. Often at short notice.
Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies. This applies in spades to our self esteem and is the reason we so often feel ashamed of ourselves. The reasons can be many fold – you could be depressed, you might not like what you see when you look in the mirror, you may speak before you think and be ashamed of what you’ve said after the event. These are amongst the many reasons so many people feel ashamed of themselves, either sometimes or all the time.
That’s the bad news. But the good news is that it’s possible to turn that around and start feeling less ashamed and more proud of yourself.
There’s a time and a place for near enough everything but if your permanent “mode” is laziness then maybe it’s time to stop being lazy and start to get some drive back into your life.
The only question is – how to do that?