Being yourself, whatever situation you’re in, is a skill that we seem to un-learn as we get older. But it’s important to re-learn the lessons that came so naturally when you were younger. Learning how to be yourself when you’re around other people is especially important, otherwise you’ll find yourself crawling ever deeper into your shell, which is bad news.
How can you be yourself?
Start by realizing that you aren’t an actor.
There’s no need to put on acts and airs around other people. In fact, that can be counter-productive as it can put up barriers between you and the people you’re trying so hard to impress.
Next up, stop focussing on the past. It’s gone. Get over it!
You can’t change the past. So instead of dwelling on it all the time and going ever deeper into yourself, start to think about the present. That’s the only thing you can do something about now, this minute!
Just by doing this and not dwelling on the past or what might have been, you’ll find that you’ll become more confident and will move towards being your real, natural, self when you’re around other people.
Once you’ve got to that stage, the next thing to try is to stop judging other people.
Sure, we all do it. But that doesn’t mean we should!
Once you start taking people at face value, you’ll find that how they react and treat you will change.
Make a conscious effort not to judge the other people you come across in your day-to-day life. Instead, treat them as nice, friendly people. And notice how they change from being cold towards you into someone who maybe even approaches you and starts up the conversation.
Once a conversation starts, do more than your fair share of listening.
OK, that may not be your natural self. Maybe you prefer to dominate conversations once they’ve started. But whether your natural tendency is to cower in the corner or charge in like a bull in a china shop, take a step back. Listen to what’s being said and reply to what has actually been said rather than acting like a politician and only answering your own conversation.
Another neat way to shift more to being yourself around people is to play a hypnosis track to yourself every now and then.
It’s quick, easy and very effective. It’s also totally discreet – much like Kindle books, MP3s don’t have a cover. So no-one knows what you’re listening to.